THE PROCESS OF CHANGE
Background
In the last 20 years the changes in technology, job security, basic needs and stress has impacted millions of people from all parts of society. The tools, rules and approaches that we were taught to make us successful have become less effective. Most of us want to be successful but many of us are unsure what success looks like and struggle to balance healthy relationships, financial security, work commitments and personal happiness with living a long, healthy, fulfilled and worthwhile life.
Stress, anxiety, fear, depression and negative emotions all seek to undermine our functionality. Environmentally our basic needs including food, shelter, social support and sleep have been compromised and now contribute to the explosion of chronic physical and mental impairments that we are facing in our workplaces and homes.
Our society has become highly specialized and while that has created lots of improvements it has also narrowed our perspectives and shared life skills.
Our society has become highly specialized and while that has created lots of improvements it has also narrowed our perspectives and shared life skills.
Where are we today
The struggle to achieve a perceived 'success' in an increasingly hostile environment, one that we are not genetically or culturally adapted to, has left large parts of the population 'unsuccessful'. Instead of focusing on our definition of success and the catastrophic failure of our environment we tend to look at the unfortunate people who have been unable to adapt and hold them to blame, as though in some way they chose to be that way or were somehow weaker than us.
The situation is worsened by a medical system buried under the workload of chronic illnesses, a school system constrained by formulaic learning outcomes, and universities driven by politics and profit. All of our systems for physical and mental care are struggling, including the workers within those institutions. |
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Partial solutions
Increasing numbers of people experiencing more physical and mental imbalance has created a growing demand for solutions. One of these is coaching, which has exploded. As with most occupations the demand has been filled by 'specialists'. You can find coaches for performance, skills, career, personal, life, business, executive and sports coaching. While they are all filling a need the different solutions can be confusing in this relatively new and highly unregulated field of expertise. The skill sets and modalities employed are diverse and include some that are primarily being used to financially exploit people with less skills. Many coaches and coaching organizations are busily building frameworks and accreditations to formulize and specialise the art of coaching. This turns coaching into a product that we can scale and sell to create profitable organizations. All these structured modalities have advantages but many miss the complexity of the human condition. The extraordinary truth is that we are each unique, just like everybody else...
We are designed to be in motion, driving towards our personal definition of success. Sometimes we can get bogged down with fear, anxiety or the demands of others. We can get sidetracked by what we lack rather than improving what we have |
Who are you?
Imagine a control board with a hundred dials and no labels, each dial can be turned from 1-10. At birth the dials are all spun at random and then with each childhood event we start turning dials. Our parents then get a turn based on their perception of how our boards should be set up. Soon after our schools, our environment, and our peers all get a turn at spinning dials. We head into adulthood with a control board that has been set with very little care or awareness.
'Imagine a control board with a hundred dials and no labels'
Every one of us has physical and mental characteristics that make us great and less than great in meeting our goals, and we are incredibly efficient at focusing on our strengths and disguising or adapting to cover up our 'weaknesses'. Over time these strengths, issues or limitations become beliefs and habits and we often assume, wrongly, that the issue(s) is 'who we are' and not 'what we do'. This encourages us to believe that we are somehow inherently broken or damaged somehow. We tend to cover our weaknesses or, too often, ignore them until they start to noticeably impact our goals or functionality. It is a rare person who can see their own control board with clarity and empathy.
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The Art of Coaching
There are many many views on what coaching is, all will have merit and most will offer some level of change. I view it as more art than science, more creative than structured. It requires the ability to see from multiple perspectives without judgement; to be able to share those perspectives without influencing a particular view and to help with orientation without defining the direction. It is the ability to see each person as a piece of art and show them their beauty and their shadows, while helping them understand that they are a work in progress and only they have control of the board.
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If you 'believe' that you are doing the best you can with the tools you were given but really don't like the results, it is probably worth sending me an email and book a no obligation chat about what your world would look like if we upgraded your toolbox.
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Interested in finding our what mental health coaching looks like?
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